BOOBS!

Ok, so today i went shopping at the ever so famous, and ever so LARGE, Mall of America. I went just to go Bra Shopping. UGH, UGH, UGH and UGH!! First off i hate shopping. It is a pain in my big lumpy A$$!!! So having this big lumpy A$$ and some big jiggly tata's to go with it, i have to shop a this store called LANE BRYANT. Ok, not so bad, right? WRONG!! Why is it that 90% of the clothes that they have in there look like they were taken right off some 70's style muumuu that the bearded lady from the circus wears?? Half of the crap i wouldn't be caught dead wearing even if i were older than dirt and couldn't see well enough to know better. Seriously! The clothing is supposed to help flatter your curves... not make you look like you are trying to brighten up the outward appearance of a whale by draping it in a God awful parachute!!

Anyway. The real reason i went was to go Bra shopping. Again: UGH, UGH, UGH and UGH!! So i stroll into the store with this half scowl half "if i have to do this, i might as well do it with a smile" look on my face, and of course the most bubbly sales lady comes over to me and asks me if i wanted to be "fitted". Uh, Hello!! Bra Shooping= Getting fitted so your tits don't fall to the floor. So through a gritty forced smile i say YES. Like a pro the lady whips out her handy measuring tape and wraps it around my rib cage and asks me what number i am hoping for. REALLY??? hmmm what number am i hoping for??? Maybe 50! that sounds good. 50 pounds less than what i weight now. So thats what i told her. Of course she giggled thinking that i was just being silly. NO!! I AM SERIOUS!! So she tells me, "I have you measured at a 37 DD" YIPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I actually went down from a 38 E!!! Yay, shopping trip is becoming positive! So we are walking around the store getting all these "sexy" bras and matching undies that i couldn't wear before (ever), and piling them into a fitting room. One by one it try one what seemed to 48 different bras in the size 37 DD... and i got double bubble tit in EVERY single one of them!! BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Really sucks!!! So i had to try on 637 other bras that were a 37 DDD... and they fit. I guess that is better than wearing a 38 E. SO... i ended up with 2 bras. Thats it.. 2!! They only had 2 styles that fit!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe i should not complain, there was a lady there that needed a 42 G!! No thank you to that!

Just needed to vent about how fun boobs can be... but how much of a pain in the A$$ they are!!