Thoughts

So i have been thinking a lot about how my life has turned out so far. A major thought lately has been my husband. I know that most people sit and gripe about how their husband never help out around the house, are always doing their own thing, never stop playing video games, or their "bromance" with their friends seems to be more in depth than the "romance" they should be having within their marriage. I am guilty of doing that very thing. I try so hard to pour all that I have into my marriage that I feel robbed of the basics that I feel are being given to other people. So I have sat back and taken a long look at how things really are.

First of all, my Hubby works extremely hard everyday to make sure that the kids and I have what we need. I know that he wishes he could do more for us, and that he could give us the world on a platter, but that is just not possible. He gives us what we need to get by, and that is more than enough. All that we really need is love and the rest will come by when it's needed. I can't expect more than what he already does because that would not be very fair. Getting up at 3 a.m. every day, working for 10 hours or more, and then expecting him to give, give, give, and work even more... i think he does enough. I admit i do complain about not having enough help around the house. I do everything that a stay at home mom/wife does, but I do it for 7 people while going to school full time, but that is my job.

Secondly, I get upset that I have little to no outside life. My everything revolves around my kids, hubby, home, and school. I suppose that I can blame that on myself. I get angry that Richie is gone EVERY Thursday night, as well as most Friday and Saturday nights with his friend and his brother. I get upset, well actually lets say jealous, because I want to have time with him too, and i hate being stuck at home by myself. In reality, we have no babysitter half the time and its hard to spend alone time. So jealousy does set in and I just have to choke it back and let it go. Aside from wanting to spend time with my Hubby, I would love more than anything to have friends that i could spend time with and do things outside of the house with. I just need a taste of the outside world, and a little bit of time with Richie every now and then.

There are however so many things that I am thankful for. I love the friends that I do have. I love the fact that I have a very supportive husband that would do anything in the world for the kids and I. I do miss having my best friends around and spending time with them, but the fraze "absence makes the heart grow fonder", that really does pertain to friends as well. I am very thankful for, and love my kids. It gets hard at times but they are well worth every bit of stress, time, love and curve ball they throw my way. :0)

I have come to the conclusion that I do make things hard on myself. I do stress over the little things. I do need to learn to let go and take things so seriously. I do need to stop being so jealous over my husbands friends ( the men and women). I need to just enjoy what i have, and the things i get to look forward to.

Yeah... word vomit... and emotional vomit... Fun stuff LOL