Home Made and Cheap

Yeah, yeah, yeah i know.. it's been a long time since my last post. Things have just been super busy with graduating, keeping up with the kids over summer, starting a new job, and adjusting to life with all the kids in school and having both parents working. WHEW!!!! Anyway, as we all know, or at least most of you, I am a PENNY PINCHER!!! I hate shopping! Yep, i know... weird for a girl ;0) If i do go shopping I refuse to pay full price if I can at all help it. So, I want to help you by giving some of my ideas on how to make HOME MADE beauty products that not only save you a ton on retail products, help you not put additives all over your body, and also gives you a cheap, thought out, personalized edge on gift giving! Which is a super thing during the gift giving time of the year which we are thrust into with empty wallets, drained bank accounts and maxed out credit cards. So, here we go!



Lets start off with a SUGAR SCRUB that makes your skin feel delicious!!



Brown Sugar Body Scrub ( buffer) : for this you will need-

1 Cup of COARSE Brown Sugar ( not the softened stuff!)

1 Cup of plain white granulated Sugar ( for a coarser scrub use SUGAR IN THE RAW)

Oil ~ Light Olive Oil, Grape Seed Oil, or Apricot Oil work best

Essential Oils

Container with a tight lid (ie; small preserving jar, tupper ware or glad ware)



To make: Combine the sugars together and mix well. Add just enough oil to make the sugars moist ( as you would see with other store bought scrubs). Once that is mixed well place 8-10 drops of organic/essential oil* into the mix. ( These can be any scent or mixture of scents, however essential oils can be spendy) Continue to mix well. Store in your container with the tight lid. This will be good for 2-3 months., longer if kept in a dark area.



* If you cannot find essential/ organic oils try this instead: In an airtight container mix your sugars together. Take a few vanilla beans and slice them open. Place the cut beans on top of the sugars and place the lid on. Let this sit for 1-2 weeks. If it sits longer the better it will absorb the vanilla and the better it will smell. This also works with Lavender flours, sage leave, mint leave, rose petals, 100% cocoa, organic vanilla extract, orange zest, lemon zest ( pretty much anything with a rind or petal), even coffee beans or coffee grounds tied in a coffee filter.

Next is a LIP EXFOLIATE

LOL - Not much to it.. just use the above recipe and use only the white granulated sugar and not the rougher sugars. Leaves your lips super soft!!!

Now for Honey Lip Balm!
What you will need:
1 Tbs Vaseline or Petroleum Jelly
1/3 Tsp of Honey
small container with a lid ( check your local beauty supply store!)

Place Vaseline and honey into a microwave safe container and melt them together in the microwave for a few seconds at a time until melted fully. Carefully remove and stir the mixture together. Allow to cool on the counter until it turns solid and put a lid on it. If you want to add color you can use a small scraping of your favorite lipstick, colored bees wax also works well. You can also add a drop or 2 of peppermint oil for mint lip balm. For a healing lip balm a few drops of Tea tree oil, Eucalyptus oil, or Rosemary will do the trick.

Now lets tackle Cuticle Oil

What you will need:
An oil of your choice ( again Olive oil, Grape Seed Oil, Apricot Oil, Jojoba Oil, Pure Vitamin E Oil)
small glass container with a dropper or a plastic container with a well sealing lid ( darker glass and plastic make your oils last longer, if not using the dark container you should store your product in a dark, cool place)
Essential/ Organic Oils or any of the before mentioned (in other recipes) ingredients that can be used for scent

Mix 1/4 cup of the oil of your choice with 1-2 drops of essential/organic oil. Use a clean medicine dropper to place into the bottle, or pour into your container. If you would rather use petals,leaves, rinds, or coffee beans to scent your oils, pour the oil into a container that has a tight lid and add the additive of your choice and let it soak for at least a week.

Now for something that just smells good!
Body Mist

Body Mist ( can also be used as a sheet/pillow case spray, or room mister)
What you will need:
4 oz. Distilled Water
10-12 Drops of your favorite scent or Combination of scents (for this you will need essential oils or organic oils.)

Keep in mind that Peppermint, Lemon, and Eucaplytus are all invigorating, uplifting, energizing scents. Tea Tree, Rosemary, Cedar Wood, Sandal Wood, and Myhr are all neutral woody scents. Lavender when used in the pure state is very calming, making it a perfect choice for a room/ bed time mist on your sheets and pillows. You can find lists online about what scents will have certain effects. I will post more penny pincher ideas soon!!

BOOBS!

Ok, so today i went shopping at the ever so famous, and ever so LARGE, Mall of America. I went just to go Bra Shopping. UGH, UGH, UGH and UGH!! First off i hate shopping. It is a pain in my big lumpy A$$!!! So having this big lumpy A$$ and some big jiggly tata's to go with it, i have to shop a this store called LANE BRYANT. Ok, not so bad, right? WRONG!! Why is it that 90% of the clothes that they have in there look like they were taken right off some 70's style muumuu that the bearded lady from the circus wears?? Half of the crap i wouldn't be caught dead wearing even if i were older than dirt and couldn't see well enough to know better. Seriously! The clothing is supposed to help flatter your curves... not make you look like you are trying to brighten up the outward appearance of a whale by draping it in a God awful parachute!!

Anyway. The real reason i went was to go Bra shopping. Again: UGH, UGH, UGH and UGH!! So i stroll into the store with this half scowl half "if i have to do this, i might as well do it with a smile" look on my face, and of course the most bubbly sales lady comes over to me and asks me if i wanted to be "fitted". Uh, Hello!! Bra Shooping= Getting fitted so your tits don't fall to the floor. So through a gritty forced smile i say YES. Like a pro the lady whips out her handy measuring tape and wraps it around my rib cage and asks me what number i am hoping for. REALLY??? hmmm what number am i hoping for??? Maybe 50! that sounds good. 50 pounds less than what i weight now. So thats what i told her. Of course she giggled thinking that i was just being silly. NO!! I AM SERIOUS!! So she tells me, "I have you measured at a 37 DD" YIPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I actually went down from a 38 E!!! Yay, shopping trip is becoming positive! So we are walking around the store getting all these "sexy" bras and matching undies that i couldn't wear before (ever), and piling them into a fitting room. One by one it try one what seemed to 48 different bras in the size 37 DD... and i got double bubble tit in EVERY single one of them!! BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Really sucks!!! So i had to try on 637 other bras that were a 37 DDD... and they fit. I guess that is better than wearing a 38 E. SO... i ended up with 2 bras. Thats it.. 2!! They only had 2 styles that fit!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe i should not complain, there was a lady there that needed a 42 G!! No thank you to that!

Just needed to vent about how fun boobs can be... but how much of a pain in the A$$ they are!!

Jello!!!

So it's been a while since I did a BLOGGY, and my besty asked when I was writing again. UGH.. really? I have nothing to write about. Well I do, but I didn't want to get all serious and self centered. So i asked for inspiration. And she says, "write about JELLO!" ( i am laughing my butt off and thinking "I CAN DO THAT!!") and then she text me (and i quote...) ," Cuz Jakayla informed Jadyn that guys junk feels like jello lol"!!!! I lost it! Mind you that Jakayla is 10 and she is telling this to her 7 year old sister Jadyn this. In my mind it's just funny as hell! But that got me thinking, either Jakayla really likes jello and that was the first descriptive that came to her mind, or she really likes jello and wanted to see what else feels like jello as well. :0)

**** AAAAH HAAA!!! LIGHT BULB CAME ON AT THIS POINT!!**** What else feels like JELLO?? It starts out liquid, then slowly becomes a strange goobery substance, and then turns into the coolest science experiment glob of jiggly weirdness EVER!!!! Who ever came up with this is a genius!! It's tasty with fruit in it. It's fun to play with. It makes an awesome noise when you squish it between your teeth. It's AB. FAB. mixed with liquor (mmmm jello shots!). But still... how do you get "JUNK FEELS LIKE JELLO" ???? A few things that i think feel like jello are:

1.) Big boobs in a supportive bra
2.) Hair Gel still in the bottle
3.) Tay's big booty :0)
4.) The "STUFF" that comes out of guys junk... at least when it gets wet and turns into that ewwwy rubber cement feeling ooze ( BLEHHHHHHHHHH!)
4.) Those toys that you can squish on with your hands that have glitter and stuff in them ( hey, i know what i am talking about here ! LOL)
5.) My thighs
6.) Chicken fat that sits in a pan over night
7.) TOFU... YUCK!!

Then **** ANOTHER LIGHT BULB TURNS ON**** I thought: What would JELLO make even better?

1.) Put it in a hot tub and turn it on!!! HAHA YEAH!!!! BLUBBERY JIGGLY FUN THAT TASTES AMAZING!! :0)
2.) Replace the mud in mud wrestling with random flavors of JELLO and jump in :0)
3.) Give it to someone drunk and hand them a really small baby spoon and tell them to eat it, WITHOUT using their fingers
4.) I have always wondered what it would feel like to fill a water bed with Jello and have it set up.... LETS TRY IT!!! I am curious!
5.) ALCOHOL always makes jello better. Maybe they should add it to the stuff they serve in the hospital. I bet more people would eat it!
6.) And obviously it makes little girls minds BETTER!!! HAHA or at least like their Mommy's!!

I LOVE JELLO!!!!!!!! YAY FOR JELLO!!!! JELLO SHOTS...ANYONE... ANYONE...ANYONE???

In 30 years...

I am coming up on my 30th Birthday and i thought it would be interesting to review some of the inventions that have come along and a few other things that i find interesting!

In 1979:
1.) The "Sony Walkman" was invented - it retailed for $200!
2.) The first SNOWBOARD was invented in the U.S.A.
3.) The FIRST Personal Computer
4.) Mouse Traps
5.) Compact Disc
6.)Voice Mail
7.) OF COURSE ME!!!

In 1980:
1.) Fax machines
2.) Domestic Cam Corders
3.) PAC-MAN arcade game
4.) Hapatitis B vaccine
5.) The Sinclair ZX80

In 1981
1.) Osborne 1 - the first Lap Top Computer
2.) Scanning Tunneling Microscope ( STM)
3.) Blood pressure measuring device

In 1982
1.) CD Player
2.) Human Insulin
3.) Articial Heart
4.) Computer Floppy Disks and Drives
5.)Cartilage regeneration

In 1983:
1.) Apple Lisa Computer
2.) Cabbage Patch Kids
3.) Soft Bifocal contact lense
4.) Sony Camcorder
5.) Virtual Reality
6.) Internet- the first TCP/IP network

In 1984:
1.) Motorola DynaTAC 8000X - The first "brick" cell phone. Weighed 2 lbs. and cost $3995
2.)Apple McIntosh
3.) CD-ROM
4.) Litohotripsy - treatment of kidney stones using shock waves

In 1985:
1.) Windows Program invented by Microsoft
2.) DNA fingerprinting
3.) "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and other Strangeness" Video Game
4.) Rubber Bands
5.) The Skatebike
6.) Synthetic Skin
7.) Nintendo

In 1986:
1.) Stainless Steel
2.) Wrist Watch
3.) Digital Camera
4.) FOX broadcasting launched
5.) TESLAR Technology

In 1987:
1.) First commercial Stain Removers
2.) Disposable contact lenses
3.) 3-D Video Games
4.) Digital Cell Phones
5.) DLP TV
6.) Digital Light processing

In 1988:
1.) Dopplar Radar
2.) Prozac
3.) Indiglo Nightlight - was used on the Indiglo Watch
4.) RU-484 ( abortion pill)

In 1989:
1.) HDtv
2.) World Wide Web
3.) The "SpreadSheet"
4.) The wheeled Carry On Bag
5.) Artificial Intelligence

In 1990:
1.) K'Nex construction toy
2.) THE SIMPSONS
3.) GPS Satellite Navigation

In 1991:
1.) Air Bag for cars
2.) Genetically Produced Blue Rose
3.) Web Browsers
4.) Bit Torrent Search Engines

In 1992:
1.) Play Station prototype
2.) Download ability
3.) Silent Storm Snowmaker - artificial snow machine
4.) Gluten Free Aroma Dough - Modeling Compound

In 1993:
1.) Spongebob
2.) Foam Fingers
3.) Pentium Processor
4.) The big yellow SMILEY FACE
5.) Dyson Bagless vacuum

In 1994:
1.) HIV Protease Inhibitor
2.) "Surfing the Internet"
3.)Genetically engineered Tomatoes
4.) NETSCAPE navigator launched

In 1995:
1.) Java Computer Language
2.) DVD's
3.)Beanie Babies
4.) Windows '95

In 1996:
1.) Ebay
2.) Ask Jeeves
3.) Cloning of Dolly ( The sheep)
4.) American Pathfinder Missile

In 1997:
1.) Outbreak of the Bird Flu
2.) Internet Explorer Version 4
3.) Mp3 Player
4.)Gas Powered Fuel Cell

In 1998:
1.) Viagra
2.) Disposable Bibs
3.) Self Heating Meals
4.) Hobbs Cat Flap - applies pesticide to a cat as it goes outside to repel fleas and ticks

In 1999:
1.) Tekno Bubbles
2.) SenseCam
3.) BlueTooth
4.) Myspace
5.) Napster

In 2000:
1.) Y2K Bug
2.) Worlds Largest Ferris Wheel In London
3.) European Airbus

In 2001:
1.) Wikipedia Goes online
2.) Windows XP
3.) Apple iPod released
4.) World first birth Control Patch - Ortho Evra

In 2002:
1.) Water Found on Mars
2.) Braille Glove
3.) Virtual Keyboard
4.) Date Rape Drug Spotter

In 2003:
1.) Ice Bike
2.) Infared Fever Screening System
3.) Toyotas Hybrid Car
4.) Optical Camoflauge System
5.) Non-Contact Jacket - elcectro shocks attackers keeping the wearer safe

In 2004:
1.) Translucent Concrete
2.) SonoPrep - delivers medication with out injection through sound waves
3.) Adidas 1 - the thinking shoe
4.) Ka-on - plants that play music

In 2005:
1.) YouTube
2.) Tweel - wagon wheel inspired wheel made of aluminum and polyurethane
3.) iBotic robotic wheel chair and military devices
4.) iCat

In 2006:
1.) Loc8tor - finds lost items within an inch of where they are
2.) Hug Shirt
3.) Floating Bed
4.) Robotic Body Doubles
5.) "Bike Car"

In 2007:
1.) Electro Needle Biomedical Sensor
2.) The iPhone
3.) The Diesel Exhaust Purification System
4.) iHearSafe earbuds
5.) StayAlive - life jacket with pockets that hold life saving tools

In 2008:
1.) iPod TOuch
2.) Macbook
3.) Under the stairs storage - http://www.docstoc.com/docs/433882/Cool-Inventions-of-2008
4.) Apple TamPlayer
5.) Nokia Mobile Smelephone

In 2009:( predictions according to various websights)
1.) Samsung 3-D TV
2.) Apple TV
3.) A bigger version of the iPod touch
4.) More Smart cars run by electricity, solar power, and alternative fuels

Its amazing to see how far technology has come. Now if we as a human race could evolve and make life better together as a world... we might not be so bad off.

Thoughts

So i have been thinking a lot about how my life has turned out so far. A major thought lately has been my husband. I know that most people sit and gripe about how their husband never help out around the house, are always doing their own thing, never stop playing video games, or their "bromance" with their friends seems to be more in depth than the "romance" they should be having within their marriage. I am guilty of doing that very thing. I try so hard to pour all that I have into my marriage that I feel robbed of the basics that I feel are being given to other people. So I have sat back and taken a long look at how things really are.

First of all, my Hubby works extremely hard everyday to make sure that the kids and I have what we need. I know that he wishes he could do more for us, and that he could give us the world on a platter, but that is just not possible. He gives us what we need to get by, and that is more than enough. All that we really need is love and the rest will come by when it's needed. I can't expect more than what he already does because that would not be very fair. Getting up at 3 a.m. every day, working for 10 hours or more, and then expecting him to give, give, give, and work even more... i think he does enough. I admit i do complain about not having enough help around the house. I do everything that a stay at home mom/wife does, but I do it for 7 people while going to school full time, but that is my job.

Secondly, I get upset that I have little to no outside life. My everything revolves around my kids, hubby, home, and school. I suppose that I can blame that on myself. I get angry that Richie is gone EVERY Thursday night, as well as most Friday and Saturday nights with his friend and his brother. I get upset, well actually lets say jealous, because I want to have time with him too, and i hate being stuck at home by myself. In reality, we have no babysitter half the time and its hard to spend alone time. So jealousy does set in and I just have to choke it back and let it go. Aside from wanting to spend time with my Hubby, I would love more than anything to have friends that i could spend time with and do things outside of the house with. I just need a taste of the outside world, and a little bit of time with Richie every now and then.

There are however so many things that I am thankful for. I love the friends that I do have. I love the fact that I have a very supportive husband that would do anything in the world for the kids and I. I do miss having my best friends around and spending time with them, but the fraze "absence makes the heart grow fonder", that really does pertain to friends as well. I am very thankful for, and love my kids. It gets hard at times but they are well worth every bit of stress, time, love and curve ball they throw my way. :0)

I have come to the conclusion that I do make things hard on myself. I do stress over the little things. I do need to learn to let go and take things so seriously. I do need to stop being so jealous over my husbands friends ( the men and women). I need to just enjoy what i have, and the things i get to look forward to.

Yeah... word vomit... and emotional vomit... Fun stuff LOL

Lori needs....

Okay so i was tagged by my best friend Candyce... so i have to do this LOL What I am supposed to do is go the Google search engine and typ in "[my name] needs" ( ie: Melissa needs) and put down the top ten in order. This ought to be fun... lets find out!

Lori needs... To Vent Aneurysm.( I knew i had something wrong upstair but i never thought it would be this

Lori needs... to solicit funds and donations from strangers to help Lori in obtaining a divorce from the man accused of killing her daughter. ( WTF????????????????????????)

Lori needs... needs to be aware of her own anger and how it’s affecting her ( ok this is really true!!)

Lori needs... Magic. ( yeah the magic that will make Candyce live next door!)

Lori needs... a gelato machine. ( yeah... like a whole in the head)

Lori needs... life. ( no joke... this is what it said.. TRUE and WEIRD!!)

Lori needs... a diet (actually it said angry diet - that sounds scary although true)

Lori needs... her own Blog name, because she wants to post something - and I don’t want my name associated with it in any way. ( sad... they don't like me! LOL )

Lori needs... to quit. ( quit what exactly??)

Lori needs... to find a hot straight man and a gay woman to date tonight! ( well that's a little interesting....)

There you go Candyce!! You are fired because you were not my #1 need in my search. Turns out i need a new brain!! GOSH!!!! HAHA i would tag you back but you have already done this... maybe i will tag my Dad. He reads this! HEY DAD!! Tag... your it!! Your turn :0) HAHAHA

New Edition

I wanted to share my newest edition of artwork with the world! A few years ago an idea popped into my head and I finally brought that idea to fruition. I wanted one footprint for each of my kids ( the originals off of their birth certificates mind you) ,mixed in with some stars and wind swirls, made into some form of art work. I decided on permanent art that i will carry with me everywhere I go for the rest of my life! I gathered up the birth certificates and took myself down to the tattoo shop where I presented my idea to the artist and let him have free range with it. Because I have super sensitive skin and i like to swell when i am scratched, or anything abrasive happens at the surface, or deeper to my skin, so i had to go through two sessions. This is the end of the first session. The footprints are finally there!!! Going from the top in a clockwise direction: Bryce, Hailee, Kaden and Kaleb :0) After two weeks of waiting and healing I was able to go back in and have the work finished. The artist added wind swirls. To me that represents how fast time flies by. You blink and the moment is gone, like leaves in the wind. The stars are representative of the far reaches of dreams I have for my kids. I absolutely LOVE my tattoo. It is not just a tattoo to me. It is a constant showcase of my love for my children. No matter how big they get, where they go in life, or what they do, they started within me and I will carry them through whatever comes our way. I want them and the world to know that they are my life. I love them more than I ever imagined a person could love. So in a sense this piece of art that will be carried with me for my entire life will be the conversation piece that will open the bragging rights porthole for me, as well as become a constant reminder for my kids of their mothers love for them. I am very pleased and more than proud for this to be a part of me, just as I am with my babies :0)

Complain Complain Complain

I have to empty my mind a bit before i can continue with homework and studying for my midterms, so i turn to my blog to spew words onto a forum of sorts that may or may not be read.

First off, i can not wait until school is done and over with. I have 2 months and 8 days left. Yes I am counting!! I am having the worst time in the world actually staying focused, not procrastinating, and i am tired of being spread so thin that i feel emotionally brittle. I just pray that all of this is going to be worth it in the end. If i don't make much out of it, even if I go nowhere, i know that I have set somewhat of an example for my kids about how important an education is, how important hard work is, and how you should always finish EVERYTHING you start. It would be excellent if they carried that with them into adulthood and through their entire lives.

Now off to rant about how i can't stand myself. I really hate the fact that I complain about stupid crap that I can do something about, but find it easier to sit and feel sorry for myself. Like the fact that I have very few friends, and it was "0" friends up until a few weeks ago. So naturally you would think that I would be happy that I have at least someone around to talk to and spend time with. Not so much. I still get upset because I am a social person. I need the stimulus of others, the conversation, and the occasional irresponsible behavior that adults still need to bring them back to reality. I suppose that once you have certain friends that you enjoy being around, they know you very well, you know them very well, you don't have to say a word to have a meaningful conversation, nothing really ever seems the same no matter whom you acquire as a friend. Don't take me wrong, I really love the people that are in my life, i would do anything for any of them, I just feel like part of my soul is missing. HAHAHA lets put it this way: What would YIN be without YANG? That's why i complain about that.
Another thing that I catch myself droning on about is not being able to do more with my husband and feeling that his "Bromance" is taking control of life in general. I really have a hard time with the fact that so much of the free time my husband has is spent with his friends away from home, sporadically napping, and glued to the T.V. As it stands I have Thursday and the occasional Saturday where i do not have anything going on as far as school, so I look forward to spending time with my family. I don't view that as a bad thing. However i have come to the realization that my Hubby works Monday through Thursday ( sometimes Friday), from 4 a.m. until 2:30 or 3 p.m.. I have school every Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday evening. I also have clinicals Friday and Sunday. So when Thursday night rolls around I am ready to spend time and relax for a minute, however that night has been dubbed as "Guys Night", so i get to spend that night alone with the kids while Hubby is gone. Then Friday I spend a huge part of the day gone at clinicals, and that night everyone is so tired from the rest of the week we usually fall asleep super early. Saturday is "BLAHHHH" day. Hubby watches T.V., I catch up on house chores, and the kids help out a little and play with their friends. Sunday is clinical day. And so on and so on. I just need more time. My kids are growing up to fast, time is flying by, and I seem to be in a constant state of fast forward. I miss my family and i miss my Hubby. I need a vacation alone with him so we can get to know each other again. I also need one with my kids so i can catch up and slow down so I can see what i have missed. Stinkin' time stealing away things that i love. :0(

Another "complaint" is my gosh darn weight. I rag on myself all of the time about how miserable i am, how fat i have gotten ( and keep getting), that i hate how my clothes fit, i hate my muffin top... and the list keeps going. No matter how much i complain and hate the way I look and how I have turned out physically, I never do anything about it. WAIT!!! I take that back, I eat more because it's easier to cover up feelings with food than it is to put the effort into losing the weight and potentially gaining happiness. I eat when i am bored, lonely, sad, upset, happy... i just eat to eat. I am really unhappy with myself about all of this, so much that I have stopped caring about the comments that people make about me, i just make them about myself instead. I suppose that way it doesn't hurt as bad when I say it as it does when someone else does. UGHHHHH!!! Damn it all to hell! I sit and complain, I know why I complain, I know I can change it and I don't. No one is at fault but myself and it stinks knowing that. I need to find a turning point and do a damn 360 degree come about. For now it is what it is guess. However that could be my excuses coming out.

UPDATES :0)

Ok, so it been a while since my last post, and it was about starting a diet. LOL yeah, starting a diet... i am the worlds worst procrastinator when it comes to things that have to do with will power. So i am struggling. I am having a hard time trying to find time for myself, my blog, my homework, my clinical, my friends, and most of my time is being driven toward my family right now. However there has been a few REALLY FANTASTIC updates!!!

1.) I have found out that Tayia is moving back SOON! I will no longer be alone in this FROZEN HELL HOLE! Tay will be flying out at the end of next week to take her State Board Exam for Cosmetology, and will be interviewing at several salons, as well as finding an apartment. It would be ten million times better if we were all moving somewhere warm and closer to the west side if the U.S. so i could have my Candyce too, but that is all in due time, and we are determined for that to happen someday.

2.) I have just filled out my Graduation application and it has been approved! Aside from the College moving their ceremony date from May 9 to May 12, i am really looking forward to being DONE with school. Hopefully all will go as planned and i will have my besties and my family to celebrate it with. Yay for the upcoming sigh of relief!

3.) I have finally gotten a NEW CAR! Yes, a car. Not a Mini Van! I have a Ford Five Hundred and i LOVE it. I am normally not a Ford girl, or a car girl for that, I LOVE me a truck, but I couldn't help but being surprised and really comfortable in that car. It's roomy, comfy, has a really good stereo and speakers, and it is a quick little biotch!! To top it off i got to buy American and that makes me UBER Happy!

4.) THE SNOW IS MELTING!!! I can actually see the grass, and i can actually go outside in just a hoody and be o.k.! It has been above "0" for 2 and 1/2 weeks now... YAY! I can feel spring coming and i can't wait! WOO HOO for fishing, camping, BBQ's, and sunshine!!!

5.) I have finally found some people that i really enjoy hanging out with. It only took a little over 3 years, but the wait was worth it. Dayna and William are amazing :0) They are the type of people that accept me for me and don't' expect anymore than that. So i can be a total moron, a cry baby, a goof, a tard, loud, quiet, sarcastic, voice my opinion, dance stupid, sing badly, pour my heart out, be intelligent, fart, burp, or just whatever and they are totally cool with it. Candyce and Tay are the only other 2 people EVER that have let me be me and have totally accepted it :0) I love my friends, they are family to me, and i wouldn't have it any other way! THANKS GUYS!!! LOVE YOU MORER THAN ANYTHING!!

6.) The twins are starting Kindergarten!! They are finally enrolled and ready for school in the Fall :0) I don;t know what i am going to do with all my babies in school, and it's really hard for me to imagine what it will be like with a quiet house during the day... may be i will sleep! That sounds nice :0) Maybe not, i am going to get a job! I need out of the house.

I guess that is it for now. I have to go wash dishes, and clean my house. It looks like it threw up on itself... ugh the joys of being a Domestic Diva!

Updates and upcoming Plans

Ok so this post is not going to be long at all. I am just updating on my "Diet Adventure", and it's not going as planned. I am having a hard time sticking to things, especially since i am always busy and going and trying to get my self through school. I need a magic pill that makes every thing taste bad, or maybe even good for you. UGHHHH STUPID FOOD! So my friends William and Dayna are taking me shopping this coming Friday. They have this funny idea that if i am confident in the way that i look right now, and feel good about the way i look i will be able to manage easier. I dunno about that, but William told me he is going to straight up "QUEER EYE MY A$$" and wants to get me off this kick that i have about my body being disgusting. He lives by this one mantra," We have one body, its all we get. So if we can't be comfortable in it because of fear that someone will talk about it... then you will never really live because someone will always have SOMETHING to say!" Which is so true. I just want to be healthy, and feeling good in my own skin is a major plus! After i go shopping i will have to take some pics of my new found STYLE and post them. Hopefull soon i can find my new found SKINNY and HEALTHY! Until then Dayna and William are going to help my find my outer "SEXY B!#@H". :0) Wish us luck ! LOL

Diet Day #1

So.... today is Diet Day #1!! Yeah that's right... i am about to bring my inner skinny B**ch out to play. :0) I hear on a daily basis that if i am not happy with myself to do something about it. Or "D**n, she is hot... look at her! Her body is Bangin!" Or "I think a size 4 is a good size. How small were you when we met?" or how about this " you have a belly, can you do the truffle shuffle?" Uh Huh... you guessed it. I am so tired of the fat jokes. I am tired of people expecting that kind of talk to be "motivation enough". The sad thing is, all of that comes from people that tell me they love me on a daily basis. But something better... my honey and best friend Candyce is dead set on the fact that she BELIEVES that I can lose the weight. She has become my motivator, my fat butt be gone coach if you will. She decided that i needed to be signed up with her for South Beach Diets, and so i am. We have decided to take before, during and after pictures to chronicle what i will call an "ADVENTURE". We are attempting to do this together from 1532 miles away from each other. This ought to be interesting. So to start off with i am going to detox my body for at least 3 days and then start the diet outlined for me on South Beach Diet. I need the will power to stick with it and not shove food down my throat to cover up emotions that i am feeling. Be prepared... this is going to a rough ride and i am taking you all with me. So there it is. Your fair warning. LOL I will keep you updated and if i am brave enough i will post pictures of progress on here as well. Any tips or exercises you may know of would be phenomenal!! Wish me luck cuz here i go....

In need of Adventure!!

Adventure. Not a word that i get to put into action very often in my life. Especially in these last few years. I have the most amazing family, and some of the best friends anyone could ask for ( however they live so far away that "adventure" is few and far between with them ), but here i sit. Waiting. Being so busy with school, house work, kids, hubby, family, running errands, getting ready to start clinicals, getting bills in order... and the list keeps going... i have kind of lost myself. Okay, not "kind of", I HAVE lost myself somewhere along the way. Pretty nuts to look back and see how 3 little years of your life can have a huge impact on how your life is at this day, at this time, in this very moment. Whew! Where did the time go? LOL

I really cannot wait for school to be over with. Not only because it will free up more than 70% of my time, but i will be able to say that i finished something besides my dinner :0) I never thought about how insane or hard getting back into school was going to be. And no one told me that Massage Therapy was so freaking hard! Seriously, there is so much more to it than what i had ever imagined ( for example: learning 360 + muscles along with there origin, insertion, action, nerve innervation, and fiber direction) that i am so glad to be at the home stretch!!! May 9, 2009. Yep, that would be the day that i can look back and, hopefully, say that it was all worth it. GRADUATION!! Only a few months away. I consider that day and adventure. One that i am very much looking forward to. We will see how that all pans out and what happens leading up to it, hopefully a little fun will be mixed in there somewhere to break up the routine. After graduation however, i have somewhat decided that i need to go on vacation to finally breath, reflect, find myself and maybe a little fun (perhaps some trouble, not to much...) somewhere. Hopefully i will be able to do this. I really emphasize the HOPEFULLY!! LOL I don't know... i am rambling! I am just so excited that it is getting so close that i can't contain myself! Alright i am going to stop here or really this will turn inot another rambling session... oops it already has!! LOL

At a loss

Where do i start on this one? By saying," Hello. I am the world's biggest door mat," or maybe," Hi. Come dump your S*** on me, push me around, and treat me like a convenience because I LOVE IT!!" Yep, that is the precursor to my life, and incidentally the introduction to my life. I have invited myself into this world of emotional and physical trashing, or dumping as most people put it, and i am finding it hard to back out of it. I am also finding it rubbing off on me as i am beginning to bring myself down in the process as i am consistently apologizing for anything or everything, and making excuses for everything that i could do that might make me happy that i do not do . It's completely unreal to me how the few people that drift in and out of your life can utterly take your walls down, blow everything to pieces, and then leave you standing in the aftermath of their destruction. This destruction that is caused is not as easy to clean up as most would think, as it usually sits and rots like molding aftermath of a flood, and ends up spreading like a disease, causing hate and resentment. I know because i live in it every day, and I can say that this has caused me to have a lot of resentment, even toward people that i love, however it has never come to hate ( at least not yet) . Truthfully, i am amazed at how much one person can withstand, and how much hindrance one can carry without giving a second thought or notion. I, personally, am so close to my breaking point that i can feel my inner woven emotional fibers snapping and rebounding one by one, and then whorling tightly around the butterflies of nervousness in my gut. I have come to the point in my life where others around me are pushing me to be happy for myself, do things that matter only to me, take time away, and just breathe. I ask how, when, and why? How am i supposed to take care of me when i take care of everyone else and carry their fears, demands, and essential happiness in my hands? When am i supposed to find time to take an hour, a moment, a minute, let alone a second to breathe when the breaths i take others rip from my lungs to gain strength to carry on over the top of me? Why does it matter all of the sudden that i do all of this stuff for myself when it didn't matter at all before i started voicing how i feel? I have no idea where to start. I am at a loss for words. I am at a loss for actions. I know that i deserve to be happy. I know that i deserve time for myself. I know that i take on too much,this is, at least i thought until recently, in my nature. I have taken a very large step to the side and taken a deep a look at what i have allowed others to do to me. I can say with utmost confidence that i do not like what i see. When you laugh or smile for other people just so you don't hurt their feeling, there is something very wrong with that. I find myself doing this quite often. I even find myself down playing what hurts me, what angers me, and how i feel on a daily basis to spare everyone else. Where is this fair? Why is it fair? I know that it's not but i keep doing it. For years i have listened to my husband ( who is largely outspoken, confident and believes those he loves should be happy), Candyce (whom is one of the best friends and the most honest and loving of souls you can find), and my mother ( whom is just as well one of the strongest women i know) tell me to stop letting people walk on me and stop putting myself through hell over it. I just don't know how. For me, this blogging thing is most possibly going to become some sort of therapeutic venting tool on some occasions, as it is now. Pointless rambling that makes me feel a little more human and little less of a robotic drone making my way through life just taking up space. Maybe one of these days someone will have pushed my buttons the wrong way for the last time, and i will have one of those "AH HAH" or "AWE INSPIRING" moments, and i will wake up out of this nightmare that i seem to be trapped in. One can only sit and wish for the moment that it happens, and pray it happens soon. I would not wish the confusion that i have on anyone, ever. My mind is continuously speeding along so many different tracks that it is hard to slow it down, let alone stop it. UGH... someday i will learn. Maybe this is all just a bad dream. Will someone please pinch me (hard so i might wake up)?

Permanent Marker

I always find it humorous that there are parents in this world that are petrified of how society will view them if they don't have "perfect" children. These type of people have the outward appearance of everything being in place. Nothing is out of order. They, as well as their kids, are proper and perfectly clean. Yeah I know, it's the ideal way to be... right? I have a hard time molding to the expectations that most people clutch onto in a way that, to me, is not necessary. Don't get me wrong, some of the first things that i taught my children were manners, but in all seriousness we are not perfect, and we should not intend to push that on our kids. They are only human. They will make their own mistakes. It is simply our responsibilty to TRY and point them in correct direction, and let go. Life is like riding a bike. You start off with training wheels, you crash, get back up, and keep trying. Eventually you get the hang of it and the training wheels come off, your parents let go and watch as their child rides off full of independence. Sometimes you fall, but you still get back up, brush yourself off, maybe get a band aid ( or a cast if it was bad), get back on, and start over. (Yeah, there is a point to this and i am getting there, and it's actually kind of funny.) So, today i met one of these parents. The type that i describe as being prim ,proper, and perfect. I have this gut feeling that after she, and her child, witnessed a normal day for me and my 5 year old twins, will be talking about it to her friends and using us as an example how NOT to raise your children. This is what happened:

The heating element has gone out in my dryer creating this fiasco of washing laundry at home, loading it into at least 6 different baskets, hauling them to the laundry mat, and then spending endless hours waiting on the dryers there. Of course, as most of you know, I almost always have Kaden and Kaleb with me, as i did today. I know all to well that the attention span of two five year old children together is about 30 seconds on a good day. So, i had the boys grab some cars to play with thinking they would be o.k. while we waited. ( HA HA HA HA!!!) We get the laundry mat, get the clothes into the dryer, the boys started playing at the table with the toys they brought, and in walks this woman. This said woman deserves an explanation of outward appearance; she is wearing stiletto knee high boots ( it's Minnesota, it's icey, and there is snow butt deep to a girraffe ...hmmmm), skin tight jeans, a wrap sweater, chandelier earings, bug eye sun glasses ( which hid the pounds of makeup on her eyes), an updo of curly hair ( not one out of place mind you), dragging a big black plastic bag behind her with a paisley pattern comforter hanging out the top, and mindfully tagging along was a little boy ( whom i will assume is her child by the way she spoke to him). Now, said little boy deserves the outward appearance description:
He is cute as all get out. He has a pair of, what look to be, Timberland boots on with a pair of Sean John jeans, and a Rockawear jacket thats zipped up. He looked like he was around the age of the twins, however dressed like a teen ager with a very clean and neat high and tight hair cut.
Immediatley Kaden and Kaleb had caught a glimpse of this little boy and wanted to play. I really didn't see anything wrong with it. Not so patiently they waited to see if the little boy was going to come back around the corner and sit at the tables. After about five minutes they lost interest, went back to playing and i had to start folding laundry. I heard a phone ring and the "Stiletto Lady" started talking. I continued folding and turned to check on the boys after a few minutes. WHAT THE F***???? I wanted to yell "STOOOOOOOPPPPPPP!!!!" But i busted out with a laugh so loud that i startled "Stiletto Lady" and she stood up and glared at me, since i apparently interupted her phone call. She then looked over to see what i was rolling over and she gasped so loud she actually shrieked! Then she shot me a look like i was satan's spawn and hung up on whoever it was she was talking to. I have never seen anyone, not even the best of drag queens, run as fast as she did in those back breakers she was wearing. One of the boys, my two or her son, found the remnants of a permanent marker. Kaleb was laughing at Kaden, who had his back to me, and then pointed at this little boy and laughed even harder. Kaden had gotten some of this permanent marker on his fingers and thought it was a good idea to "spit wash" himself so he stuck his fingers in his mouth. This action promptly turned his lips, tongue, teeth, saliva, and chin licorice black. The other little boy was trying to help Kaden and placed the broken end of the marker into his mouth and started digging in his pockets. "Stiletto Lady" reached her son and ripped the marker from his mouth and asked my boys, " What did you do?", in a very stern manner. Before i could say anything Kaleb piped up," What? He put it in his own mouth!" Of course i start walking over, still hurling with laughter, to help as much as i could. Her little boy starts wiping his mouth, then reaching back into his pockets. As you can imagine: Slobbery hands that were wiping a mouth full of black PERMANENT marker then being wiped across expensive name brand clothes... not a PERFECT mothers idea of PERFECT! She shoots me this look that must have been heriditary, there is no way someones face could be trained to twist like hers did, and started snipping at me," YOUR BOYS ARE OUT OF CONTROL!! HOW COULD YOU LET THEM DO THIS??" Still laughing my butt off, i looked at her and said," You know, boys will be boys." Then she looked at Kaden and Kaleb, turned back and looked me up and down. Then out of her mouth spews," Well you obviuosly don't care..." Yeah you guessed it. I cut her off. I put myself between her and my boys, looked her in the eye and told her," Excuse me? If i didn't care i would be reacting like you. My boys are children. They play and sometimes do stuff they aren't supposed to, but i laugh most of it off. If you cared more you wouldn't be upset with your kid either", i pointed at her son. She turned to look at him. All the while that he had the pen shoved into his mouth, oozing black drool and ruining his clothes, he was digging for a piece of tissue to help Kaden get the marker off his hands. I think she was a little embarrassed. She would not look back at me. She grabbed her son by the back of the jacket and led him away to the rest room. As she was closing the door i heard her start repremanding him for ruining his clothes. As for me, i had Kaden rinse his mouth out, however he proudly wore the temporary stain of permanent marker as a reminder of his adventure at the laundry mat, and went about my day. Even Richie laughed when he heard the story and saw Kadens face.

So, my point to this: try not to teach so many lessons to your kids, but accept lessons from them as well. Remember to have fun, but help when its needed. Don't worry about your outward appearance so much because even the most beautiful people can be ugly and as black as a PERMANENT MARKER on the inside!

Roller Coaster of Life

My mind is continuously stirring with thoughts. Seemingly in a constant hurry to keep one step ahead of even the most fleeting object. The start of this blog is an absolute example of that. There are so many visions, words, thoughts, aspirations, and dreams with in myself for my family ( as well as myself), that i have no idea where to begin. I could start from the beginning and give and absolute play by play of how our family has come about over the past 11 and 1/2 years. However i would love for you, as the reader, to remain conscious, as well as alert. I will, on the other hand, divulge that i have an incredible family that has been held together by a lot of work, persistance, bumpy roads, scrapes, bruises, and the familial glue we all call LOVE. Because of that i have a Husband that is awesome, and has truly given me everything that he promised and more. He and i had a really rough start, a really rough middle, and that ended up being the sand paper that smoothed us into what we have now, and what we are together at this moment in time.

Together we have 4 amazing children. Now i know that everyone says that their kids are amazing, talented, cute, or what have you. In all seriousness i believe my kids are amazing. Each of them have their own unique beginning in this world, and i am sure they will have surprising and unique moments their entire lives.

My oldest son Bryce was born 9 months to the day of our honeymoon night, on August 11, 1999. He was really very sick for his first few months of life and was in the ICU. Bryce had an allergic reaction to my breast milk, as well as the protein from the cows milk particles in regular baby formula. This in fact burnt his stomach and esophagus nearly shut. He came out of it perfectly, became the happy chubby baby, and is now our overly intelligant 9 year old son. He loves to learn, debate ( as he calls it, we call it mouthing off as he always HAS to be right), read, and do anything that involves being outside. He is very strong willed and is certainly ready to make his mark in life. Look out world, when he is set loose the theory of chaos will be tested as will the people in his path !!! I suppose thats not such a bad thing. It's is just very hard watching as my first baby grows and heads into being a man... the time really flies by. Don't blink or become to busy wrapped up in yourself, before you know it your kids will be grown and gone.

Our daughter Hailee was born 1 year and 9 and 1/2 months ( approx.) after Bryce, on May 23, 2001. She is my "Birthday Baby". She was due on her dads birthday, though she had plans of her own, and came 5 days early on mine. That's right we share our birthdays, and that is the best present i could ever ask for! The day she was born we were told that she could not hear. The doctor had no explanation as he gave us the news, he just told us to prepare and have her retested after 6 weeks. Not prepared for the news i was crushed. My husband, who is usually pessimistic, was ready to learn sign language and make the most of it... after all we had and otherwise healthy and stunning baby girl. Needless to say at her 6 week hearing check she passed!! Hailee is now 7. She is the drama queen, center of attention, loving, huggable, giggly and non stop talker and very much a free spirit! Sometimes i wonder if she doesn't hold the soul of an old hippie :0) She really is a peace maker and has enough love for everyone who comes into her life.

Now for Kaden and Kaleb. Anyone who says having twins isn't AMAZING will get a very firm argument from me. I was not supposed to have anymore children after Hailee. I was having some medical problems, was put on birth control, and was all set for exploratory surgery and most possibly a partial hysterectomy. Low and behold we find out during pre-op testing... WE WERE PREGANT!!! At 26 weeks i had an ultra sound to make sure the baby ( yes i said BABY.. as in one) was o.k., and opted out of finding out the sex. The ultra sound only detected ONE baby, although my clairvoyant sister-in-law and one of my best friends knew otherwise and was very unforgiving in "seeing" that there was 2. So, thinking all was well, because the doctor had not stated otherwise, my husband, Bryce, Hailee, and i relocated to Washington state. Promptly 6 weeks after being there i went into premature labor, was admitted to the hospital, put on bed rest, and the problem was diagnosed... TWINS!!! 3 weeks later on March 5, 2003, we welcomed Kaden into the world via natural birth, and Kaleb via C-section. Both small ( however good sized for early twins) they were unable to hold their bodily temperature and had no reflex for sucking. A few days in an incubator and being fed from a cup, they came home. They are now healthy, active and catching up with everyone else. We still have a few set backs with them but we are getting there! Kaden and Kaleb are my little comedians. However different their personalities (they remind me of Penn and Teller, just a little less rude or crass) they can still bring a smile and laughter into any room. It's awesome to sit and watch them learn new things and come up with devious ways trick us, get into things, persuade people, all with out saying a thing to each other! And yes, they still like to tell people that do not know them that they are each other ( as in Kaden saying he is Kaleb, and Kaleb saying he is Kaden), i feel really sorry for their future teachers! Unbelievable to think that they will be 6 in a few months.

In all of our adventures through the years, between living in 5 different states, having 4 kids, and the roller coaster of life taking us all on a ride, i would have to say that however rough or blessed it has been, i would not change one moment of it for anything. We have acquired so many friends through out the years that accept us and love us for who we are. Our families, however dysfunctional either side is or has been, have always been a constant source of love for us. And all the rough sand paper years we have traveled through has put us in a smooth spot for the moment, and we are actually able to look back and be thankful for all of it and be proud of where we are now. Everything has definately been worth it.